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There is no good or bad Comfort Zone

We had lunch with our niece a while back. My wife and I really like her and before our daughters were born, we would go travelling with her. We are a lot busier right now and she also started growing up so we see her less frequently.

Talking to her is always fun because I get to know the latest trends. It was her that introduced KOL to me (she enjoys watching those with masochistic tendencies).

She will joke that she doesn’t understand what my 2 year old is watching on youtube. While it was a joke, It did lead me to think that if I couldn’t understand her then I can forget my daughter because there is more than a 30 year gap. So in a way, I believe understanding her helps me understand my daughters.

I am so afraid that I will not understand my daughters when they grow up and they won’t talk to me as a result. As I age, I realise I become more nostalgic like my mother. Maybe it is because we always like to feel youthful. So I actually really need to push myself to learn new things so I know what my niece is up to.

Our niece is in her third year in high school. I always felt she had really good EQ and very mature for her age because I rarely see her getting upset even though I feel we are nagging her quite a lot sometimes. I recall my temper was really poor back when I was her age (maybe my temper was just really bad or she simply doesn’t show in front of us).

Her family condition is not all ideal so I asked her if she believes my daughters should grow up in a good or not so good environment. (I think it is every parent’s wish to give the absolute best environment they can for their children.)

Her response, as usual, is somewhat unexpected. She said we should raise them in a not so good environment because then they will know how to adapt if they are ever in a not so good environment later in life. (She let me listened to some of her WhatsApp group messages, she studies at a co-ed school and there are a lot of cursing by her male and some female classmates. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do if my daughter showed me this 10 years later.)

The me before would think she is pretty right because like her, I grew up in quite a rough area. But now, I started thinking more why she and I would think like that.

I think we are trying to console ourselves by saying right now, I am already in a not so good situation and I have already adapted so there is not much downside. But if life becomes better somehow then I have all the upside.

Recently, I started thinking on the flip side, that is, when she gets to a better place, will she also have issues adapting because it is not a place she is familiar with. She is getting out of her comfort zone.

What I am even more afraid of is whether she wouldn’t even think about it because she is already comfortable where she is now since she has adapted.

So actually what we are most afraid of is not being poor but the uncertainty in the future and things we are not adapted to.

Being poor in itself is not something we are afraid of because we will adapt when we get to that situation.

Last night, I had a really bad dream. I dreamt that I was riding on a bus on a really really high bridge somehow and we are about to go down like a roller coaster. I suffer from severe acrophobia and I am not sure if I have this dream because as part of my entrepreneurial journey I am having to counter my fear each day.

Part of the reason I am on the entrepreneurial journey is because I want to teach my daughters how to live with strength as I believe this is the most important lesson but I have no idea where else they can learn from. I wish we can all be taught to step out more from our comfort zone.

Sharing a motivational video from Hugh Jackman talking about when he began his Wolverine story.

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